Making Ends Meet, Part 2

The Ship That Never Came In

At some point I became aware of family income differences.  I was a little league friend of Tommy Donat. The Donats had a nice big home and a plastering business. Whenever I went to Tommy’s house it was obvious by the way his family lived that we had a different lifestyle. We had a very small house (formerly owned by my grandmother Golden) with always unfinished remodeling projects.  Herbie Geiger was another classmate who lived at Diamond Lake. Their fancy kitchen mixer set our families apart. We may have had a toaster.

My dad had five brothers. From visiting my uncles’ homes I could see “success” or “struggle” – or so it seemed. The struggle about money caused great tension and quarreling between Mom and Dad. Once while sitting in a recliner in our living room I realized that I was so tense that my head and body were really not resting in the chair. I took a deep breath and sank down into the chair. I feel that tension still resides in me. I have to consciously relax into bed or into a chair. The tension was always related to money matters – making ends meet.

Following the 6th grade our family moved from Wawaka (pop. 400) to Goshen (pop. 13000). This was a move of 25 to 30 miles so our extended family relationships were not disrupted. I did not want to move. I walked the perimeter of Wawaka through woods and farm fields to say farewell. 

The adjustment to the big city was tough for me. I changed from a serious student to a clown, with teachers as the targets in my shows. Model School was a rural grade 1 through 8. I acted out in ways that startle me as I write. Mrs. Bradford, one of my teachers, was so bothered by me that she attempted to slap me. I caught her arm before it landed on my face. Quite a show! Around Halloween time I soaped all the windows in the school house and was reported to the principal. For a week or two I cleaned the windows with razor blades. So cool! My grades went down to Cs.

Model School windows

Work was important. I ran two paper routes. For a time I covered the routes on an Italian Cosmo motor scooter. High points in the newspaper business were having cash for pinball machines around town and trips to Chicago for Cubs and Sox games. These trips were rewards for getting “starts” with new customers.

During this time I started playing competitive tennis. I did well and later played on the high school team. This was very important to me because tennis took me into a life away from the drab tension–filled life at home. And good tennis occurred in clubs and places that were exotic for a guy from my background. My family could not afford private lessons. Self teaching and playing with better players took me a long way in cultivating relationships with business people, bankers and others with money. There it was again – the tension between the haves and the have nots, those who had it and those who wanted it.

I did not do well in high school – just getting by with average grades. Lettering in tennis and dating were my primary activities. One girlfriend was from arguably one of the wealthiest families in town. Deluxe house, lake homes, boats, travel, new cars – the whole deal. One of our afternoon activities was to go to her home and read the Wall Street Journal to see how her stocks were performing. Birthday gifts consisted of GE stock and the like. Talk about the other side of the tracks! I lived in a four-room house with one bath and our family drove old model used cars. This relationship extended beyond high school with a level of serious intentions. The “money” tension was always present, not because of the girlfriend’s manner or attitude but due to the culture surrounding her family. I was always aware of her family’s social circle, who desired and encouraged her to find someone of a higher social level to marry after going off to private colleges. I developed attitudes and insecurity around people with money.

Our decision to go to colleges far from each other facilitated an end to the relationship. Whenever I see a product on the highway that has been manufactured by the company where she is currently the CEO, I have no doubt she is making ends meet.

The next post will highlight the most ridiculous decision I ever made in my life along with significant life direction decisions I would do over.

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