Noted
I’m writing on the celebration of Marcus Aurelius’ birthday, April 26, 121 CE. To celebrate Marcus’ birthday, my wife Cinny and I participated in a program live from Plato’s Academy Centre in Athens, Greece. More than 400 folks from around the world gathered on ZOOM to listen to Donald Robinson talk on the topic of how Stoicism can save Western democracy. Huge, timely topic. Well, whether or not our little tribe can influence the future of our world, I enjoyed the large number of people taking part in this program, from Iowa to Kurdistan. As I have shared before, the number of Stoics is growing rapidly around the world and popping up in unusual ways.
The Stoic Mom is unique. Meredith Alexander Kunz writes on her website, “I'm a writer, editor, and mom to two daughters in Northern California on a journey to discover how studying Stoic thought and developing a personal philosophy of life can change a parent's (or any person's) world.”
Quotes
Protecting Our Greatest Assets The Stoic Gym 4/1/19
The reality of our daily lives
If you live in the US, it’s tax season. My husband and I have been sifting through forms, receipts, and paperwork of all kinds, preparing to pay our tax bills, all the while using tax-incentivized accounts for childcare, college savings, and retirement.
We do all this to protect our financial well-being. It’s part of our reality: As citizens of the modern world, we need to keep paying our taxes and saving for our family’s future. It’s not just us. Huge industries revolve around financial protections for individuals, companies, and governments.
Understanding our greatest asset
And yet, in my recent reading of Epictetus, I was reminded of the greatest asset we need to protect: Our ruling center.
In Discourses 3.10, “How we ought to bear our illnesses,” Epictetus shares these thoughts (emphasis mine):
For it isn’t the business of a philosopher to safeguard these external things, his little store of wine or oil, or his poor body; but in that case, what? His own ruling center. And how should he concern himself with external things? Only so far as to ensure that he doesn’t have towards them in any ill-considered manner…. What occasion is there left for fear when it comes to external things, to things of no value?
It is easy to lose sight of how little external things, especially material possessions, matter in the bigger picture of human flourishing.
Learning from living without luxuries
The experience of living without luxuries can teach us that. I just recounted to my daughters how when they were very young, we didn’t have the funds to fix our bedroom’s broken windows.
We stuffed paper towels and strips of brown paper bags in the warped wood of the double-hung frame, dating back to 1940, that gaped open. Another window was cracked through the middle.
It is easy to lose sight of how little external things, especially material possessions, matter in the bigger picture of human flourishing
We couldn’t do anything about it, and years went by that way. At night, it was often cold, too, since we were living without central heating. Sometimes I’d wake up with strange dreams, likely prompted by the wind whistling through the glass.
Special memories do not depend on owning things
And yet we had some of our most memorable experiences in that two-bedroom cottage with its white picket fence and butter-yellow siding. Our daughters learned to walk there; they learned to talk there. We cooked and hosted our family and friends. My husband and I spent many a late night, after the kids fell asleep, watching movies together from the sofa by our front window.
Losing the fear of losing external things
Knowing that you can “do without” eases the fear about losing external things that Epictetus speaks of. It was tough. But my own ruling center, along with my principles and the values I aspired to, were what mattered, then and now. The virtues of wisdom, justice, courage, and self-control were and are the treasures I hope to gain. I try to guide my children down this same path, too, so that they will be prepared to cherish this part of themselves more than anything.
From the The Unthinkable 8/13/2017
There is danger everywhere, even for our children, and all could be swept away in an instant. Yet we must somehow still live, love, and try to find peace and joy in this world.
Stoic philosophy aims to teach us that nothing is truly “ours,” except our own thoughts and actions. Everything else is outside our control.
One key Stoic exercise is to picture ourselves and our loved ones dead and gone. We are asked to remember that our own life and body, and those of all the people we cherish today, could be taken away in an instant by death.
This ancient thought exercise, the memento mori, extends to our own children. As modern parents, we can hardly force ourselves to think about our children dying before we do. It’s simply the most devastating thing in our universe, and we resist the mere imagining of it.
Yet it does happen.
Reflection
An important piece of Meredith’s work is The SMP Community Center. This online program serves as support and resource for moms who have a child who has adopted a transgender identity. The community is private and vetted and joined by application and invitation. I encourage you to go to The SMP Community Center website to learn about the range of services offered.
It is exciting to learn of the many ways that Stoicism is helping people to live life as captured in the Greek word “eudaimonia”: a deep sense of well-being, happiness, and flourishing. Meredith’s work does that by taking the philosophy into the nitty-gritty of daily issues faced by families.
Resources and Events
https://the-stoicmom-project.mn.co/
https://stoicmom.substack.com/about
http://www.thestoicmom.com/
Conversations with Modern Stoicism
Conversations with Modern Stoicism is an interactive virtual gathering that provides an opportunity for Stoics around the world to connect, learn, and engage in meaningful dialogue with each other. The events feature a presentation from a respected speaker followed by multiple rounds of audience conversations via the Breakout Rooms feature in Zoom. The events are lively, engaging opportunities to collaborate with others as you pursue your journey into philosophical Stoicism.
https://modernstoicism.com/
How Socrates Shaped Stoicism and CBT with Scott Waltman, PsyD, ABPP, is a clinician, trainer, and practice-based researcher who specializes in providing Case Conceptualization-Driven CBT. May 11 Go to website above to register.
Watch the replay of our Marcus Aurelius Birthday event: