The side trip with Connie is good preparation for taking a look at two more themes in Terry’s journal: people and self-reflections, because his journal is peppered with encounters with people and thoughts about himself. While in Dulles International he met “Steve Waters, an old customer at Primavera (In fact he and Sandi his wife were married as well as had reception dinner there)...we had time to shop and have a soda.”
On the flight from D.C. to Amsterdam he wrote: “seated next to a San Diegan who was with a group of sand sculptors. Kathy and I had a good conversation - - interesting woman - - we plan to get together.”
On the second day out, while in Amsterdam, he wrote, “Feeling strong and so happy to be here - - have adjusted quickly to time change.” While in Germany Terry noted: “Europe’s people-watching from tables on the street is informative and very interesting. Rag heads have taken over the world. My prejudice shows…”
On the Rhine cruise Terry gave a thank you to Tom: “but thank god Tom wanted me to bring my heavy jacket, with the scarf, bundled up and quite toastie.”
On the train to Prague Terry expresses gratitude: “This has been an unforgettable experience to this moment - - thanks to everyone who contributed.” He added: “I’m feeling great, making certain rest, sleep are part of my day. Only problem is the BIG D - wish I could plug up…”
In Prague Terry thought back on his time in Amsterdam: “One thing I neglected to mention is that gay life does exist. Beautiful men. Went to an area in Amsterdam - - there are several depending on the scene. Bought a T-shirt from a shop and bar called The Bulldog in Rembrandtplein - - very yuppie gay.”
A drawing of his hotel room was followed by the realization that “My organization skills are truly compulsive - - but I like it.”
After a “pretty good sleep in my compartment” on the train to Budapest Terry reports: “Bought a two day transportation pass and map of the city and got organized. We are very spoiled with the grid patterns we live with - - not so in Prague or Budapest…very confusing and I’ve been lost frequently. Found the people here much more accommodating than in Prague.”
On treating himself: “Had a late lunch on the hill then to Gellert Baths - - an unforgettable experience - - the massage made me and my tired muscles want to scream.”
Before leaving Budapest Terry had a nice meet up: “At the laundry I met a young girl from New Zealand - - she’s teaching English and also studying Hungarian. Nice to have a conversation with someone I could speak with…Have enjoyed Budapest - - especially the people. However, Prague architecture was more interesting.”
When 13 days have passed, Terry’s journal begins to reflect the strenuous nature of the trip, yet he is still pushing to take in the sights. In Salzburg he wrote: “Had a good rest - - ate breakfast at 7:30…Left by 8:30 so I could have a full day of sightseeing…I’ve had very good weather while on this trip. The pictures I took followed my travels today. Ringing of bells in the distance was so wonderful to hear…Came back to Pension around 4:00 for rest and shower.”
Thinking back over the choice of lodging in the recent days Terry shares: “I’ve enjoyed staying outside the city in Budapest, Vienna, and now Salzburg - - I love the night life (remember Donna Summer) but my night life has changed drastically. I love the daylight hours more.”
Coming into Innsbruck he realized “Looking on the Eurail map I’ve covered a lot of territory and seen so much. I was uncertain if it all could be done…Got myself ready for tomorrow - - a big day. This trip becomes more incredible by the day.”
Thursday, June 2 was a full day: “The lady at the pension is so kind. She had left my breakfast outside my door. I got up at 5:30 - - showered and had breakfast so I could catch a 7:00 train to Innsbruck. Tomorrow I’m up early to take a train up the mountain to Fulpmes - - I’ll be able to be in the mountains for a short time before going down to Innsbruck. I depart Innsbruck at 11:22 for Padua where I’ll be staying. It is 30-40 minutes train ride to Venice. As the day progresses I’ll add more about my adventure today.”
The journal tapers off drastically from this last entry. No more entries except the following notations::
June 2 - Diary for Ludwig Castle
June 3 - leaving Innsbruck for Padova
June 4 - Padova & Venice
June 5 - Padova & Venice
June 6 - v → Milan
June 7 - home
Page 39 is blank.
Terry arrived home on Tuesday, June 7, after 22 days of travel, with the journal telling the tale of a long challenging trip and the weariness reflected in the entries of the last 6 days.
He called me on Thursday to let me know he was going to the hospital. He did not expect to return home. He shared with me “Roger, I don’t want to die.” How did I respond? Was there a response that would not be so feeble that it could best be unsaid?
On Saturday he checked himself out of the hospital and returned to his garden apartment at Tom’s home. Tom and his current lover cared for Terry in those last days, one of many many tales of the gay community caring for their dying loved ones. He was in his lovely home with Ben and the garden. Connie was there for him. His dear friend, Jeanne Redsecker, came from San Francisco to spend the night with him. They had lived through high school as gay friends. She had been in the steamed VW birthing Terry’s coming out in Indy. She held him in his death the next morning. And Ben, Tom shared that Ben would not leave Terry’s bed.
Next week I will share a poem written on the day of Terry’s death.